Warning! things guys do that girls hate will deal heavily in generalizations and other logical fallacies for the sake of entertainment. If at any point you feel yourself saying things like “not all guys do that” or “I don’t do that” you are missing the point of pieces like this. This is not a political statement or sociological thesis, this is just fun.
Since the dawn of humanity men and women have been simultaneously at odds and inseparable from each other. We all know that men and women do things to each other that are especially irksome and this list ventures to point out some of them out. Not that either side is going to stop. So with no further ado, I present to you my list of 10 things guys do that girls hate. The real list is infinite; I narrowed it down to ten. You’re welcome.
10 Things Guys Do that Girls Hate
1: Put on a happy face: This seemingly benign statement, or variations thereof, seems to be particularly irritating to women. When a guy says you should smile more, or why aren’t you smiling? It’s usually not from a place of negativity. However, it is from a place of ingrained feeling of protectiveness over women, which does in fact spring from the patriarchy. A guy typically doesn’t care if another guy looks sad, and it is often used as a way to break the ice with a female stranger. But women, when this question is asked by a friend or acquaintance, before getting offended by the audacity, consider that they may not be saying it because they think it makes you look more attractive. They may be saying it because they are your friend and empathy is a thing that exists. But men, remember, regardless of you intentions, the question/statement is annoying. Try to cut back on it.
2: Catcalling: This is one is a bit more serious. Men and women think different because men and women have different life experiences. Catcalling exist on a spectrum that is different for everyone. The line between catcalling and complementing is vastly different for different people. Not being a woman myself; the way I tend to judge it is by vulgarity and persistence. If you come out the gate like “girl you got a fat ole ass” that’s catcalling. If you say something nice like “you look beautiful this morning,” don’t get the response you’re looking for and persist to bother the lady that too is catcalling. Unfortunately some women consider any utterance from a stranger positive, negative, persistent or brief to be catcalling and offensive. While men feel like a woman should be flattered by the complement. Women can be fearful of unwanted and unprovoked advances from strange men. The question becomes is intention more important than reception. If women have made it clear that they don’t appreciate a certain behavior regardless of intention, perhaps men should let it go.
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3: Insensitivity: The perception is that men attack things with a cold logic, whereas women approach things with emotion and sensitivity. Whether or not this is true is not really the issue here. Insensitivity is a large umbrella covering a wide range of behaviors women don’t like about men. Men take forever to text back. Men only care about sex. Men don’t care about my feelings. And worst of all, men cheat. Despite the fact that all of these things are done by women, they are considered as male problems. Why? Where does this perception come from? The patriarchy, sure. But a more helpful answer is machismo. The idea that men need to be hard. It’s a double edged sword. On the one hand men can’t be seen as soft, on the other, being too hard makes them insensitive. Like most things, your best bet is to try and find a sweet spot between the two.
4: Are you on your period?: At the first sign of agitation, if a man asks a women if she’s being irrational because she’s on her period, he is calling down a shit storm upon himself the likes of which no umbrella can protect him from. No defense for this one fellas; just don’t do it to them or yourselves. It invalidates their feelings and makes them seem like raging hormone monsters with no control over their emotions. Despite the fact that popular media makes this seem like the case, it’s actually an insulting insinuation, exacerbated by the fact that they may or may not actually be on their period. (Let’s not pretend PMS is not a thing ladies)
5: Overprotectiveness: Over the years the term white knight has become a pejorative. It is often used for someone who believes they are coming along to rescue a woman in some sort of peril for the sole reason of being her hero. Granted the term is usually thrown around in comment sections by less than savory characters themselves, but it does illustrate a trait that women find annoying. Chivalry is dead, because women killed it. Women can fight their own battles and a guy who swoops down to protect her at every turn is a turn off. There’s a difference between being supportive and being overprotective. One is a boon, one is a bane.
6: Nice guys finish last: Girls seem to hate the assertion that they are only interested in assholes and that nice guys get immediately “friend zoned” (more on that later). This is perplexing as despite their protestations, their actions seem to unequivocally confirm and perpetuate this line of thinking. So why does this line of thought annoy women so much? Partially because it’s true and embarrassing, and partially because it isn’t true. Confusing, I know. On the one hand, women really do prefer someone who is going to challenge them, who isn’t going to automatically put up with their shit, who will be just the right level of domineering. The thinking is, it’s easier to whittle away at someone who is a bit too much of an asshole than it is to build up someone who isn’t assertive enough. The flaw in that logic is that it is extremely hard to change people for the better. That guy who seems like a challenge to be tamed is probably just an asshole and is probably going to be just an asshole regardless of what you do. Now for the not true part. In a lot of ways, this way of thinking is an excuse for guys who lack confidence as to why no one is ever interested in them. They are too shy or fearful to make a move and are sick of hearing about the guys who weren’t. It’s not that you’re too nice; it’s that you aren’t assertive enough. Don’t blame your hang ups on her.
7: The Friend zone: Which brings us to the friend zone; let me start by acknowledging that some women believe in the friend zone too and believe they have fallen victim to it. However, it is an overwhelmingly male contrivance. I’m not going to make the case of whether or not the friend zone actually exists. I’m going to tell you why the idea of it irritates women so much. First let’s look at how you got into the situation you call the friend zone. I imagine you met a lady you found attractive. You two continued to associate with each other without you ever making a move (for whatever reason). Fast forward a little and you’re braiding her hair listening to how much of a dog Ricky is. You wonder, “How could she go out with Ricky?” “Whenever she needs something, I’m the one who’s there for her!” “I’ve earned her love!” This is what most people mean when they say they are in the friend zone. I’m going to attempt to handle the many problems with this as nicely as I can. 1. You’re a shitty person. Sorry, but that’s not how love and more to the point, that’s not how attraction works. If you think it does, you don’t even really belong in the friend zone. A situation where goods and services are reward is not a friendship or a romance, it’s a job. You aren’t acting like a friend. You are acting like an employee. “I washed your car for you…Love me!!!” That’s not how it works. 2. In all likelihood you either missed your window, or she doesn’t realize you want to be more than friends. She wouldn’t be hanging around you if she didn’t like you in some capacity. She didn’t allocate you to the friend zone, that’s where you got off the train. The morale of the story women hate the idea of the friend zone because it puts the blame on them for your actions. The friend zone isn’t something that was done to you, thinking like that implies some malice on her part, like she is just using you. While it may feel like that to you (and in some cases may be true, I’m not saying it doesn’t happen) she may have no idea.
8: Lack of post coital etiquette: Guys, after you finish, don’t just roll over and go to sleep. Damn sure don’t just leave. There are a few reasons why this is just plain bad form. If you care at all about the lady it’s probably not going to make her feel great (though some women are into it). No one wants to feel used and that’s a great way to do it. But more importantly, your job might not be done yet… If you know what I mean. Some women are only having sex with you as a way to placate you for whatever reason. But, if you’re both trying to get off then it’s really not cool to leave her hanging after you got yours. A general rule to follow, that any comedian will tell you; take care of her first.
9: Disliking their friends: Her friends are probably the worst. Even the one you think is hot. Especially the one you think is hot. You know they’re awful. She knows they’re awful. She could even be talking about how awful they are. The moment you chime in in solidarity, you become the enemy. It’s a trap! Don’t fall for it. 9 times out of 10 her friends were there before you and will be there after you. You talking bad about them is a sure fire way to make the latter become a reality all the sooner. Odds are you don’t love her talking negatively about your friends, but it’s a whole different ball game for her. And I’m not talking about Janice from her job or Chloe the girl she met at that party that one time. You know damn well who I’m talking about. I’m talking about the one that vetted you. The one who’s thumb down would have ended your relationship before it even began. She probably doesn’t like you anymore either, she probably makes every effort to make that fact known. Don’t retaliate. Take it as a complement. You are a threat to her. You are competition for her friend’s affection. The nicer you are to her the more it’ll piss her off. But whatever you do, don’t talk shit about her to your girl.
10: Saying anything ever: This is sadly not as much of a joke as it seems. You never know what is going to set someone off. Saying something that would get a positive reaction one day could destroy your relationship the next, or elicit no reaction at all the day after that. Women are complicated. There is no foolproof guide book to help you navigate those dangerous waters. Your best bet is empathy, attentiveness and common sense. Fellas, I wish you the best of luck. Ladies, I doubt I’m your favorite person at the moment. We all just need to get our egos out of the way and be honest with each other…But since we all know that’s never going to happen, all I can say is Godspeed.
Check out the funny video below about things guys do that girls hate…